Imaginif

Clear communication is easy to achieve when you know the formula: I feel…when you…because…

Children taught to use the formula have the best chance possible at successful communication, knowing themselves and self protection. But…wee children do not have a sophisticated “feeling” vocabulary. Let’s face it, neither do many big people. When we fail to find words to express ourselves, we may throw tantrums, speak untruths or gush like imbeciles. We act out our emotional unintelligence.

It is time to grow up and ensure that you Mums and Dads use a fair range of feeling words. There’s over 3000 words that describe our feelings but most often, we use a set of only six feeling words. How bad is that?!

How do you feel right now? Are you sure it is a feeling and not a thought? Do you know what vexed means? Have you head of feeling masochistic? Do you feel silent? Is silent even a feeling? If you think that silent is a feeling then you have a whole lot of work to do on yourself. You cannot keep your kids safe and in high levels of emotional intelligence if you don’t first have it yourself to model.

In New feeling word, a three year old practices her emotional intelligence and increasing word development by using the word “silent” to describe her cranky state. Totally appropriate for a three year old learning about the inner world of emotions (how lucky is that child to have an emotionally intelligent Mum) and the outer world of verbal communication, if you use silent to describe how you feel, you need a jolly good big red cross on your emotional intelligence assignment.

Emotional intelligence will help to keep your kids safe. Are you intelligent enough to start using it?

Here’s your EI 101 course:

How to teach clear communication to children
Emotional Intelligence and feeling words
The Anger Volcano: Anger is a secondary emotion.