We are not victims; we are survivors
December 24th 2007 by Lisa in Fostering Adoption Parenting, Child Abuse
Care Leavers Australia Network is a support and advocacy group for adults who grew up in homes, orphanages, institutions and/or foster homes.
As a former foster child and active member in Foster Care Alumni of America, I was curious to know how foster care alumni in Australia are using their insights to help young people who are currently in the Australian foster care system.
When I contacted a staff member to ask how CLAN enlists the insight of their members to guide system change, this is the response that I received:
“Our group tends to focus on older people who left the system unsupported and have been left to deal alone with loss, grief and trauma all their lives.
“Our hands are full trying to deal with past hurts, abuse and neglect.”
The person went on to explain that, although their organization has been in existence in for seven years, they still have only two staff members for the entire continent of Australia.
Hmm… I understand feeling overworked and overwhelmed.
Yet, I also see the need for empowering survivors of the foster care system.
Former foster children don’t need tea and sympathy. We are more than victims of the past — we are survivors, with passion and first-hand insights that can influence the future.
The foundation for the Ohio chapter of Foster Care Alumni of America was put into place by two people. Both were survivors of foster care. One was in her fifties, the other in her thirties. One had aged out of foster care in 1973, the other in 1989. Neither woman received support while transitioning out of care.
Those two founding members were Gayle Loyola and Lisa Dickson (me). Neither one us were prepared for the adult world by the institutions in which we were placed. During our initial transition to the adult world, both of us experienced homelessness and hunger.
“Can we imagine spending Christmas alone?” From personal experiences, we don’t need to imagine — we vividy remember that experience. It is part of what fuels our passion to create change. Part of our healing has come through from being proactive by helping others.
Alumni voice is vitally important. Where would the civil rights movement have been without Martin Luther King Jr.? Where would the women’s rights movement have been without Elizabeth Cady Stanton? Where would the disability rights movement be without Ed Roberts?
Survivors of the Australian foster care system can rise above the abuse, neglect, pain and trauma of their past and find healing. That is the truth and foundation that CLAN was based on: the book Orphans of the Living was written by Joanna Penglase, co-founder of CLAN, based upon her personal experiences.
How can you help: I encourage the readers of this posting to consider volunteering for CLAN, in order to increase their staff. If you need a reminder about the urgency, please read the Forgotten Australians, a Senate inquiry report released on August 30, 2004.
Stumble it!
December 25th, 2007 at 8:08 am
And a Merry Christmas eve to you, Lisa, and any others on line, too. I wasn’t a foster child but as an abused and neglected child, I sure wished to be one many times in those days. Nothing, it seemed to me then, could be worse than life as I knew it…and in retrospect, not much could have been worse than my home. However, I understand now the importance of something I had by not being a foster child and that was the extended family members who did what they could…one gave me church and scouts, another a library card at age 7 and a weekly trip for books. Both, combined with decades of research on child development, abuse and neglect, have made all the difference in my position regarding the importance of doing everything possible to keep children safe within their families. So from that perspective I offer this… former foster children aren’t just survivors…although that’s a lot to build on in itself…but they are also Warriors of the Heroic kind. I wish I could volunteer, as you ask. However the commute from Pennsylvania, USA is more than I can manage. So, instead, I merely offer my encouragement in addition to yours for more volunteers who can make so much difference. As for being alone on Christmas…it isn’t easy at any age, or in any circumstances. But it isn’t the end of the world either. I am alone here on Christmas eve and shall be tomorrow as well. I had a wonderful turkey and ham dinner earlier, compliments of a local Pizza parlor that gives free meals on Christmas eve day. Sure, a Hallmark kind of holiday would be nice, but I think it does more harm than good to encourage the idea that having a “family” makes that happen. I think it makes many people sadder than they might otherwise be if they could count whatever blessings they have instead of hurting themselves wishing for what they don’t have. For some, of course, there is little in their lives to be grateful for, and for them I pray that it shall evermore be otherwise. So, again, I wish you a happy holiday, whatever it may look like to someone else.
A Child is Waiting.
Take care…be aware,
Nancy
Child Person From The South
December 28th, 2007 at 7:46 am
Well written and beautifully pointed toward the unique need of people who have been in foster care. Our big ex foster child has now left home and chose to spend Christmas with her boyfriend and his sister.
I just cannot imagine having to spend Christmas without another family member, let alone with a head full of memories about child abuse.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year world - I hope that at least one person on each continent can rise to Lisa’s challenge of volunteering with a care organisation.