Imaginif

Attachment is a word used to describe a theory of how emotional connection is established between a baby and their carer in the first three years of life. Attachment theory, trauma and child protection are words that go together: one impacts upon the other. It is believed that trauma in the first three years of a child’s life can negatively impact upon a child’s ongoing physiological and emotional safety and the child reaching a state of secure attachment. Many children traumatised at the hands of their parents end up in the child protection system, where sometimes, foster placements breakdown because of attachment disordered behaviour further adds to an altered trauma state. If you are a foster carer or an adoptive parent, it is imperative that you know about attachment disorders and therapeutic/attachment parenting.
Article by Megan Bayliss

There are four different types of attachment:

• Secure attachment
• Ambivalent attachment
• Avoidant attachment
• Disorganised attachment

Commonly, extremes of the last two types of attachment difficulties are referred to as Reactive Attachment. The aim of parenting or caring for a child with reactive attachment is to enter into a style of therapeutic caring called attachment parenting and to work toward secure attachment.

Attachment parenting is sometimes called (re)intuitive parenting (the parent /carer intuitively guesses what it is that the child needs and meets those needs for the child). To be an intuitive and therapeutic parent/carer you DO NOT need a degree or a lot of training. You need to understand the affects of childhood trauma, be willing to work to child protection principles (check with your local child protection agency for statutory principles) and be motivated enough actually carry through the intuitive parenting, e.g., with a 14 year old as they may be a demanding two year old who follows you around and when you stop to give them a hug they push you away.

At all times you must remember that attachment trauma has the ability to effect every caring and intimate relationship for the rest of a child’s life. That includes the child’s relationship with you. It is your job, not the child’s to help heal the trauma. In fact, Attachment Therapy places a great deal of responsibility on the parent or carer to attune to and cope with the challenging attachment disordered child (1). If you are a foster carer, this may be known as a therapeutic model of fostering.

What happens to babies that they fail to become securely attached to their parent or care giver?

Any trauma during late pregnancy and the first three years of a child’s life has the potential to interfere, for ever more, with functional attachment to other people. According to the Institute for Attachment & Child Development, the process of developing healthy attachments can be disrupted by: Abuse, neglect, abandonment, multiple changes in caregivers, foster care, adoption, painful illness, exposure to alcohol/drugs in utero, maternal depression, and/or inconsistent day care.

Early attachment bonds with a carer (including trauma during pregnancy) influence the development of a babies brain. Just as can a traumatic event, failed attachment can further negatively impact brain structure, functioning and cause developmental delays. This development includes the development of memories. Where the attachment bond is traumatic or constipated, “neurological impairment and memories of a failed relationship become the basis for adult expectations.” (2)

How to help a survivor of attachment trauma:

Children depend on the person who is looking after them for brain development and regulation. Just as we ensure a healthy diet with plenty of brain food, we also need to ensure that we provide our children with intimate experiences of hope and secure bonding. Counsellors are not in your home everyday, nor do they know your child as well as you do. Therefore, a major goal of therapeutic attachment parenting therapy is to treat the parent in order to treat the child. If you are a foster carer, this may mean you will receive some training in trauma and attachment issues. You will then be proactive in your caring and react in the best therapeutic way.

Brain change is a process triggered by physical and emotional experiences. If your child receives positive triggering from you, their parent or carer, then change is occurring. Appropriate physical (touch, closeness) and non verbal communication (eye contact, pleasant and responsive facial expression, tone of voice, posture) can be used to give messages of attachment permission and (re)intuitive parenting. Change will take some time though and consistency in you, the parent or carer, is paramount.

Emotional intelligence is an area to immediately begin introducing into your home. Trauma, arousal, dissociation and attachment disorders may have left your child unaware of their emotions. Playing games and using emotional language may help your child to reconnect with themselves and other people. Click on the picture of the “feeling faces” to reach a printable page of a variety of emotional expressions. Use them for games or to try new words to match up to how your child may be feeling.

Further home study in the area of Attachment:
(1) Trauma and attachment disruptions: their effect on young children
Department of Child Safety, foster care training handouts on attachment
 The effects of trauma on attachment
(2) Institute for attachment & child development
The eight principals of attachment parenting
Reactive Attachment Disorder blog
Attachment Disorder Site
Attachment explained

Foster carers may want to view the articles in our Foster Care / Children archives.