Imaginif

Kidproof Safety

Article by Jeanette Harvey

It was a glorious English summer day.  The park was full of families, singles, and groups enjoying the local ‘Fayre’.  There was fun and laughter.  There was face painting.  There were drinks and a multitude of different foods.  There was a climbing frame, face painting, clowns and music – live and other.  It was a jolly day all round.  (Am I sounding like I’ve already been too long in England?)

There was also a family (of sorts) that caught my eye, well my ear actually.  It was a distraught cry of a young, say, 4year old girl.  It seemed that the bicycle that was bought for her 3year old brother was something she had her eye on, and not the pram that was given to her.  That seems a typical story doesn’t it?  How can you please them all?  However, the 3 year old had no idea how to ride it and even had difficulty trying to maneuver it along – upsetting ‘dad’ a bit with his attempts to drag it.   
 
What kept my attention, however, was when the little 4 year old continued with her pleas (loud and demanding as it may have been) her ‘parent’ (?) gave her the most almighty whack in the back with the heavy bag he was carrying.  It almost knocked her off her feet, but didn’t really curb the determination to try to claim what she obviously saw as a prize.  As she continued to cry her ‘parent’ threatened her with a strap in the other hand, causing her to shrink away and run for cover behind ‘uncle’s’ leg – who joined in the yelling at her.   

All this while her 7 year old sister watched from a pace away, standing erect, hands by her side, with a quivering chin, a look of utter despair on her face, and a plastic drum hanging from around her neck.  I presume this was the gift chosen for her from the second-hand stand.  Obviously she didn’t care for it, but no-one seemed to care and she quite obviously didn’t dare complain like her spirited sister.   

Being very new to this country, and a visitor to the land and its customs I must admit I was at a loss as to what to do.  The ‘family’ belonged to an Eurpoean family (going by the attire of the children).  I have no idea of their culture other than of some very scary stories I have read, of mutilation and so called ‘honour’ killings.  Truth be told I was scared to say anything to the ‘father’ - for fear of retaliation.  I felt hopeless  …. hopeless and extremely sad.

In hindsight, I wish I’d made just some attempt to let the oldest girl know that I could see her plight.  That I cared ….. and somehow convey to her that it won’t last forever.  She will grow up one day and find some peace away from the abuse.   

I recalled in the story “Tales of a Geisha” that the child (before she was adopted into her life of a Geisha) was acknowledged, while she slept under a bridge, by the Emperor and the lifelong sense of hope that acknowledgement gave her.  I wish I’d given that to the young girl.  Instead I did nothing.   Weeks later, this still bothers me.  I wake up thinking of the life they are subjected to, and the hatred that must live in the hearts of the adult males of her family. 

Next time I will do something – even if it is just as small as kneeling down to a crying child to smile into her face.  Being brave enough to ignore the parent and not pose a threat to him.  But, just let the child know that she is seen, that she does exist, that she deserves more…. And somehow express my love for her as a beautiful, innocent child, and my heartfelt despair for her sorrow.   

What would you do?   

I did nothing because I wasn’t prepared for what to do.  I have had a chance to think about it now – and this can no longer be an excuse.  I will, however, do my research about the protocols of the land and maintain my own safety while looking to secure the safety of the children. 

What would you do? 

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