Imaginif

Article by Rebekah Allen 

Self-harm or self-mutilation is often cloaked in secrecy and denial – many self-harmers hide their use of ‘cutting’ and to the outside world they appear to be functioning on all levels.  Why is it that self-harmers feel the need to hide their coping strategy of ‘cutting’ from the people they love and from the people who know them? – From a self-harmers point of view they feel alone in their need to cut and vulnerable to the need for help.  

According to extensive research conducted in the late 90’s in the United States two (2) million Americans deliberately cut or harm themselves – more specifically in a study of 500 university students (United States) 1 in 8 had deliberately cut or harmed themselves in their lifetime (Strong, 1998).  Self-harmers are obviously not alone in their need to self-harm and the desire to harm often arises as a result of childhood trauma - Childhood trauma may include sexual, physical, emotional abuse or violence and neglect. 

The painful memories of childhood trauma reach the depths of the individual’s soul and more importantly many self-harmers have reported that the memories of childhood trauma reach far deeper than the emotional release of tears.   In a more recent conversation with an individual who self-harms – the individual reported that tears do not offer any relief from their ongoing and lingering memories of abuse – in fact tears increased feelings of worthlessness and powerlessness – the individual went onto say that ‘cutting’ offers far greater relief than tears and offers a momentary feeling of calmness and peace with the world.  Interestingly, the act of ‘cutting’ appears to offer some individuals a similar effect to the natural release that is accompanied by tears.  

Imagine not being able to feel the emotional release that is accompanied by tears – Imagine not being able to describe feelings of psychological and emotional numbness to those that love you. 

Rather than judging the use of self-harm, society, as a whole must learn to assist and support self-harmers – self-harmers should not be labelled, criticised or ostracised from the community.  In contrast, self-harmers should be accepted, understood, respected and offered ongoing support in their endeavour to overcome the need to hurt themselves.  If self-harmers are offered ongoing support, the need to cloak and deny their use of ‘cutting’ will no longer be necessary.

Do you know where to go to get support for a self-harmer? Look in the mirror: YOU may one day be the first port of call. Your reactions to a self-harmer may make all the difference to their self-esteem, their willingness to talk about what is happening and their move toward different ways of coping.

Forum discussions for those interested in self-harm and its affects:

Safety Talk Forum
National Self Harn Network
Recover Your Life